Bayrisch ist wie Latein, nur die Gebildeten sprechen es
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Mo
02.03.2009 23:13 Uhr |
Da Martl kimmt in d Wirtschaft und bstellt se a Maß Bier. Kaum hots da Wirt eahm brocht, ziagta o, ois wia a Stier. A frische Maß, de schmeckt eahm, ma hört, wias obazischt. Oa Zug, da Kruag is laar, da Schnauza weard obgwischt. Da Martl loahnt se zrucke, er schaugt recht griabi drei, dann schreita durch de Wirtsstubn: "He, Wirt, schenk nomoi ei!" Scho bringt da Wirt eahm s Bier und prost eahm blinzlnd zua. A poormoi wiedahoit si de selbi Prozedur. Am Nebntisch hockt a Preißin grod beim Essn do, und schaugt se recht vawundat, des Gspui vom Martl o. Aufoimoi sogts zum Martl: "Sie haben aber Durst!" Doch da Martl denkt se: "Wos de do drent sogt, is ma wurscht!" Wiasn nomoi frogt, do brummta: "Du dappi, preßisch Henna, du moanst das i an Durscht hob,... soweit laß es goa net kemma!" |
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Mo
02.03.2009 23:11 Uhr |
Brief eines Bayern an die NASA
I WRITE YOU, BECAUSE YOU MUST HELP ME. I HAVE SEEN YOUR SPACE SHUTTLE IN THE TELEVISION. IN COLOR. AND SO CAME ME THE IDEA TO MAKE HOLIDAYS IN THE WORLD- ROOM. ALONE. WITHOUT MY CRAZY WIFE. I AM THE KRAXLHUBER. THE KING OF BAVARIA WAS MY CLOCK-CLOCK GRANDFATHER. I STAND ON A VERY BAD FOOT WITH MY WIFE. ALWAYS SHE SHOUTS WITH ME. SHE HAS A SHRILL VOICE LIKE A CIRCLE SAW. SHE LETS NO GOOD HAIR AT ME. SHE SAYS I AM A SCHLAPP-TAIL. SHE WANTS THAT I BECOME BÜRGERMASTER. BUT I WANT NOT BE BÜRGERMASTER. BUT I HAVE NOTHING AT THE HAT WITH THE POLITICAL SHIT. I WANT MY RUAH. AND SO I WANT MAKE HOLIDAYS ON THE MOON. WITHOUT MY BAD HALF. BUT I TAKE MY DOG WITH ME. HE IS A BOXER. HIS NAME IS WURSTL. SO I WANT BOOK A FLIHT IN YOUR NEXT SPACE SHUTTLE. BUT PLEASE GIVE ME NOT A WINDOW PLACE. I WOULD KOTZ YOU THE ROCKET FULL, BECAUSE I AM NOT SWINDLE-FREE. AND NO STANDING-PLACE PLEASE... AND PLEASE DO NOT TELL MY WIFE THAT I WANT GO ALONE. SHE HAS A BIG SCHROT- GUN. SHE WOULD MAKE A SIEVE FROM MY ASS. I NEED NOT MUCH COMFORT. A NICE DOUBLE-ROOM WITH BATH AND KLOO AND HEATING. AND WINDOWS WITH LOOK TO THE EARTH. SO I CAN LOOK THROUGH MAY FARGLASS AND SEE MY WIFE WORKING ON THE POTATOE FIELD. AND I AND MY DOG LAUGH US A BRANCH (HÄHÄHÄ). WE WILL KRINGEL OURSELF BEFORE LAUGHING (HÖHÖHÖHÖHÖ)! IS WHAT LOOSE ON THE MOON? I NEED WORM WEATHER AND I HOPE THE SUN SHINES EVERY DAY. THIS IS VERY GOOD FOR MAY FROST-BOILS.. WITH FRIENDLY SERVUS FRANZ'L |
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